Sunday, December 28, 2008

Seriously the worst band ever...

I'd sooner fork out the green for front row tickets to The Jonas Brothers than ever hear a Nickelback song again. If you listen to them, shame on you. If you willingly trade your hard earned money for their CDs, posters, or tickets, please leave me a comment and I'll come to your house and take that money and put it toward my tuition. That way, you still get robbed, but at least I put forth more effort earning it and it's going to a good cause.

I just visited a friend's (she shall remain nameless) myspace page. She had just added "Gotta Be Somebody", Nickelback's new single, to her player. I immediately remembered I never made her that mix CD I promised her almost three years ago. Maybe I could have saved her. Anyway, eventually, curiosity got the best of me and I had to find the video on youtube.

(Persons with a heart condition or are pregnant, nursing, or may become pregnant should consult a doctor before viewing)



Let us begin.

Drummer: I could have played this when I was seventeen. Step it up, son.

Guitarist: Why don't you learn another chord? You use the same four chords for the verse and chorus parts. And on top of that, you don't even switch them up. Also, the pre-chorus is just wretched.

Bassist: You look distracted - like someone is jangling keys off-screen. Pay attention you what you're doing.

Chad Kroeger: Where to begin... 1) Stop standing bow-legged. It looks like a moose took advantage of you last night. 2) Stop bleaching your hair. And I'm not sure if you're aware, men's hair should never be feathered. I heard that after seeing this, Farrah Faucet's nipples softened for the first time in history out of sheer sadness. 3) Please explain why you're playing the guitar in this song. There's no difference between what you play and what the lackey to your right plays. 4) That ground cracking beneath your feet? It's not because you're so rockin'. The Earth is just trying to swallow you because the sound waves you create are detrimental to the environment. Little Boy and Fat Man caused less damage.

Live Nation (Nickelback's label): Stop marketing this crap. Who gave the greenlight on signing them?

I heard recently that rock and roll is destroying America. I partially agree. I don't feel that rock is destroying America. But I'm pretty sure the runny, corn-encrusted fecal matter that is passed off as rock and roll can't be good for society.

So for all that is good and decent, stop making terrible music. Stop manipulating people into buying terrible music by attaching a cool stigma to it.

That is all.

Friday, December 26, 2008

A story. And a list.

So I'll start with a story. This was my first Christmas with my Wifey. Everything went off without a hitch. We saw relatives. No one fought. It really was a great Christmas. Until it was over. See, I had to be to work at midnight on the 26th (hey, that's where I am...wow). We left her parents' place (Farmington) about 6 and ventured northward, knowing we would run into a storm.

Boy did we run into a storm...

It was bad enough we didn't even bother with Sardine Canyon. We "knew" it would be closed. We both grew up traversing it, we know how this game works.

Or so we thought.

We got off the exit in Tremonton to come that way. A few miles down that highway there was a cop car, lights-a-flashin', in the middle of the road informing us that the highway was closed. So many people had come that way avoiding the canyon that they had to close the road. Sardine was open the WHOLE TIME.

I was annoyed.

So we started the trek back to Brigham City to brave the canyon. We stopped at a Flying-J to get some snacks. Yummy! Then we entered the canyon. At the mouth was a sign warning that 4x4/chains were required. Good. I drive a 2-wheel-drive Kia. With no chains. Well I didn't have much choice at this point.

To sum up, the drive which normally takes about one hour and ten-fifteen minutes took us four hours and fifty minutes. I was majorly annoyed. I did not get a nap before coming in to work. I should have been home just after seven. Plenty of time for sleepings.

Nope.

---

Part 2

thePatrick posted a list of his top albums for the year. Good choices, sir. I would do one as well, but I really didn't get that much new music this year. Sad...

Instead, I'll regale you with what I listened to in chunks during different periods throughout the year.

Sweeney Todd: The Motion Picture Soundtrack
This one was actually a rollover from the end of 2007. I found 'Epiphany' to be especially lovely while other cars were exhibiting copious amounts of jackassery on the road.








Get Set Go Presents: Sunshine, Joy, And Happiness: A Tragic Tale Of Death, Despair, And Other Silly Nonsense
Released midway through January, this lovely album took over my CD player/iPod for quite a while. I'd been anticipating it for nearly a year and couldn't put it down. Even now when I really start listening to it, do so exclusively for about a week at a time. 'Cannibalism Is The Cure' tops the list dominantly, with the entire rest of the album in a tie for second place...it's all so good!




The Photo Atlas: (all their stuff that I have...)
These guys were sort of a bad luck band for thePatrick and I. Several times attempting to see them ended is sadness. One included a completely pointless trip to PROVO! How much worse can it get, right? Well, Warped Tour '07 apparently ended the curse and we've seen them a few times since. I listened to them for quite a while during the last bit of February in preparation for their March 1st show in Sandy. I bought their singer's amp. It's lovely. I play it loud. Just like they'd want it. (Seriously, they're one of the loudest live shows I've ever seen...maybe it's cause I'm always front and center...?)


Most of summer, I mixed it up pretty good...and then...

Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog
I'm a fan of Neil Patrick Harris. Really. So when I heard about this mini-musical, I was fairly excited. Then when I heard it involved several people who were involved with Buffy The Vampire Slayer, my interest waned. Chad convinced me to watch the first part and I was hooked. I love it. I learned most of the songs (many forgotten by now, unfortunately). It's funny Watch it. F'realz.






Reggie And The Full Effect: Last Stop: Crappy Town
Admittedly, Crappy Town was only one of the five Reggie albums listened to repeatedly toward the end of my summer. It was however, the most recent release from musical genius (really, he's got a degree in composition) James Dewees (formerly of The Get Up Kids and Coalesce). In preparation for the "farewell" concert I listened to this religiously. J Train became a quick favorite. They even made a video for it. It's funny. Go here. Now.




The Faint: (everything I have from them)
thePatrick talked me into going to see these guys with him. I didn't really know them, so I figured I'd better educate myself. Seriously some of the coolest sounds I've ever heard. If you've never listened to them, you're missing out. I don't even know how to describe it. Cap it with the singer dressing like Dr. Horrible at the concert and I was walking (or longboarding) around campus more often than not with them cuddling with my eardrums.




Ben Folds: Way To Normal
Now, at first I was annoyed because I'm a bit of a grammar Nazi. I thought it was supposed to be 'Way Too Normal'. But upon listening to the track 'Effington', I realized that it is referring to the direction one must travel in order to reach Normal, Illinois. 'You Don't Know Me', 'Hiroshima', and 'Free Coffee' also make me quite happy. (Psst, 'Free Coffee', performed live, is one of the coolest things I've ever seen!)





I should probably also give honorable mention to:
The Matches: A Band In Hope
Mindless Self Indulgence: If
Erratic Erotica: Masochist At The Masquerade Ball
The Vandals: Oi To The World (hey, I've devoted almost a dozen posts to that album...that's the only reason it didn't make the top list)
The Dollyrots: Because I'm Awesome

That is all.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Hang Myself From The Tree

Well, this is the last installment from Oi To The World. And one of my favorites. Although, if you're alone this year, maybe don't read it...

---

Christmas is Hell on Earth
I know nothing worse
Than being depressed
And told to be happy
The season of suicide
I know why they died
Christmas reminds me
I have nothin

I've got no girl there's only me
No friends or family
Another Christmas alone
I've got no food to eat
No ornaments or wreath
So I'll hang myself from the tree

Christmas is dark and wet
So I can't forget
Christmas reminds me
I have nothin
This is the end of hope
I won't write a note
Because it would be
Addressed to no one

Got no girl there's only me
No friends or family
Another Christmas alone
Got no food to eat
No ornaments or wreath
So I'll hang myself from the tree

So I'll hang myself from the tree

Now I will say goodbye
And no one will cry
Christmas goes on
Without me
My life is now complete
So I'll go to sleep
Forever and ever and ever

Got no girl there's only me
No friends or family
Christmas alone
Got no food to eat
No ornaments or wreath
So I'll hang myself from the tree

---

I'll even include the live video for this one. Just because I love Warren. (with bonus "A Gun For Christmas" goodness!)



That is all.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Here I Am Lord / C-H-R-I-S-T-M-A-S

Ok...so I don't really like 'Here I Am Lord'. It's apparently a traditional Christmas song, but I've never heard it before. Also, C-H-R-I-S-T-M-A-S is horribly obscene, even by my standards.

So what I've decided to do (so y'all can still be edu-tained) is put up links to the lyrics, already done by someone else.

Here I Am Lord

C-H-R-I-S-T-M-A-S

So there ya go. Don't say I didn't warn you about that acronym one...ridiculous...

That is all.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

The OC


So really quick, I just wanted to say that The OC is magical. Yes, I own all four seasons. And Seth makes me happy.


I don't know why I like it so much. Thinking about it, it's practically a soap opera. And those are dumB. Yes, with a capital B. But for some reason, The OC wins.



I made my wife watch a couple episodes right after we got married. Now, not only does she watch them with me, but she even watched a few episodes while I was at work because she couldn't wait to see what happened... Yay!







Go watch now.

That is all.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

My First Christmas As A Woman

All I can say is, Chris, keep reaching for that star...

---

I'm not a real girl...

With Christmas upon us
It's time to be honest
Follow my dreams and to face
A life of delusion
And gender confusion
That no longer will be the case

I never wanted army men or basketballs
I only wanted pantyhose and barbie dolls
And dressing up in mother's clothing
my whole life I've been feeling only feminine
It always seemed so useless trying to be a man
Now that's the ghost of Christmas past

And now it feels like the very first time
Cause it's gonna be the very first time
That Christmas feels right to me
And I know that I'm lookin good
Just like a real girl should
It's my first Christmas as a woman

Yeah a doctor reconstructed all my genitals
And now I'm waitin underneath the misteltoe
For a guy who could love a girl like me

I took the hormones and I got my breasts
This season's gonna be the best
To me
I won't have to tuck it behind me
Since I got my brand new vagina
It's my first Christmas as a woman

Chop it off chop it off chop it off
My penis, chop it off
It's no use to me
Cut it off chop it off chop it off
My penis, cut it off
So I can finally be
A woman

Now I'm finally happy cause I made my goal
To be a post-operative transsexual
Now I am a pretty lady

And now it feels like the very first time
Cause it's gonna be the very first time
That Christmas feels right to me
Cause I know that I'm lookin good
Just like a real girl should
It's my first Christmas as a woman

---

Oh, it makes me laugh...

That is all.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

I Don't Believe In Santa Claus

Can't find time for shopping this year? Just use this handy speech as an excuse...

---

Uh, the reason I didn't get you anything this year is, is because...

I don't believe in Santa Claus
His corporate image forced upon
The blinded spending masses
To enslave the lower classes
Obligatory gifts that serve
To cleanse a year of guilt and shame
Token gesture justifies
The apathetic hypnotized
Leading them to be Kris Kringle's slaves
Ooh

Buy Buy
I won't do it
The season's obligation has not my participation
Buy Buy
I won't do it
The money-hungry mating call of corporate swine
Cause it's only for the money
And it's only for the money
Cause it's only for the money
Now buy!

He monitors naughty and nice
Big Brother is Saint Nick
Methodically his judgment made
Documented on his list
I don't believe in Santa Claus
Or his mystical facade
To teach the children want and greed
Their lust for gifts becomes a need
Brainwashed by the marketing
And victims of the corporate scheme
Material possessions
Becoming their obsessions
Til human life has lost it's value
Blindly do just what they tell you

I don't believe!

His tactics of intimidation
Repress the minds of youth
Using fear for generations
His image hides the truth
He's just a puppet for the system
A glutton in a suit
With yuletide propaganda
And a bearded mask to boot

Uh, that and, I couldn't find a place to park at the mall. Sorry...

---

Gotta love a good Anti-Corporate Rant at Christmas...

That is all.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Oh, happy days!!!

So, I apparently wasn't listening in Creative Arts class when we were told that the final would be available online from noon on Tuesday to 11:30AM Friday (today). I somehow came under the impression that it was up until 11:30PM. You can imagine the stress I felt when I logged into blackboard only to find that the exam had closed. Catherine had just left to meet with a client so I called her before she pulled out of the driveway. She came running back in and managed to calm me down enough that I could email the professor and beg for mercy. Fifteen minutes later I got a response saying that it would be reopened until 5PM, but no exceptions after that. YAY!!!!!!! So I took it. And rushed it a little. I ended up with about a 79%. Not bad, but not what I needed to help with my GPA. Oh well. The point is, I got to take my final. So I'm a little happier.

Also, I found this. Merry Christmas!

That is all.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Christmas Time For My (you know what)

So, that's not really the title. It's really "Christmas Time For My Penis"

Read on if you're not already offended.

---

I see you've been feeling down
When I need you you've been around
So this year I've a Christmas surprise
That will make your spirits rise

I think back on the times
When you've always been there for me
And when things seemed unclear
You did the thinking for me

I owe you so much that it's hard
To repay you for all the good times
And I won't forget you this year
It's Christmas time for my penis

I know I have let you down
When you just needed a hand
When I was uncertain
You showed me that I am a man

I owe you so much that it's hard
To repay you for all the good times
And I'm going to give you
The joy that you've earned this year pal
It's Christmas time for my penis

Flannel underwear...
New lotion...
A hat?
Oriental massage...
A monocle?
A blowup doll?
A lap-dance?


I owe you so much that it's hard
To repay you for all the good times

It's Christmas time for my penis

I know you've been feeling down
All bent up it's so hard to breathe
Don't fret this Christmas
You'll get the attention you need

I love you so much that it's hard
To repay you for all the good times
We'll get whores and pornography
Your special holiday pal
It's Christmas time for my penis

Thank you.

---

And no, that's NOT the worst song on the album...

That is all.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Oi To The World

Ah, a happy little ditty about two enemies coming together in the spirit of Christmas...

---

If God came down on Christmas Day
What would He think?
What would He say?
Would He notice all we've done?
Or just the battles seldom won?
I think I know what God would say
If He came down on Christmas Day
He'd say to every boy and girl
"Where's the Oi I gave to the world?"

Haji was a punk just like any other boy
And he never had no trouble til he started up his Oi band
Safe in the garage or singing in the tub
Til Haji went to far and he plugged in at the pub

'Twas a cold Christmas Eve when Trevor and his skins
Popped in for a pint and to nick a bag of crisps
Trevor liked the music but not the unity
He unwound Haji's turban and he knocked him to his knees

If God came down on Christmas Day
I know exactly what He'd say
He'd say "Oi! to the punks
And Oi! to the skins
But Oi! to the world and everybody wins"

Haji was a bloody mess he ran out through the crowd
He said We'll meet again we are bloodied yet unbowed
Trevor called his bluff and told him where to meet
Christmas Day on the roof at 20 Oxford street

If God came down on Christmas Day
I know exactly what He'd say
He'd say "Oi! to the punks
And Oi! to the skins
But Oi! to the world and everybody wins"

On the roof with the nunchucks
Trevor broke a lot of bones
But Haji had a sword
Like that guy from Indiana Jones

Police sirens wailing
A bloody dying man
Haji was alone
And abandoned by his band
Trevor was there fading
And still so full of hate
When the skins left him there
And went down the fire escape

When Haji saw the North Star shining more than ever
And he made a tourniquet from his turban saving Trevor
They rappelled off the roof with the rest of the turban
And went back to the pub where they bought each other bourbon

If God came down on Christmas Day
I know exactly what He'd say
He'd say "Oi! to the punks
And Oi! to the skins
But Oi! to the world and everybody wins"

If God came down on Christmas Day
I know exactly what He'd say
He'd say "Oi! to the punks
And Oi! to the skins
But Oi! to the world and everybody wins"

---

Aww...they're friends now!

That is all.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Thanx For Nothing

So...I slipped up. Nothing that really matters, I just posted a song out of order. Oh well. None of you noticed.

And now for a message about the joy of giving...

---

Fa la la la la la la la la la
Thanks for nothing

You shouldn't have
Oh you didn't
You're so generous
Thanks for nothing

Never mind all the stuff that I bought for you
It was my pleasure
Getting nothing back
Come next year
I'm getting you
Exactly what
You got me
Fucking nothing
See how you like it

I don't have much money
But I got you something nice
I maxed out my card
Didn't care about the price
To show I care this time of year
Fa la la la la la la la la la
Thanks for nothing

So I just sat
Under the Christmas tree
Trying to find the gifts that I thought you got for me
But there was nothing there
What a shock
Just torn up Christmas wrappings
From all the gifts I bought

Thanks for all the effort
To brighten up my Christmas
Thank you for the knife
That you stabbed me in the back with
What a blessing
You're really something
Fa la la la la la la la la la
Thanks for nothing

I've been so selfless
Choosing gifts so thoughtfully
Sweating in a crowded mall
You didn't get shit for me
You selfish asshole
I hope you die
Choking on your putrid pile of presents six feet high

Thanks for making Christmas
Such a disappointment
Thanks for making sharing
Seem so fucking pointless
What a pal
I'll tell you one thing
Fa la la la la la la la la la
Thanks for nothing
Fa la la la la la la la la la
Thanks for nothing
Fa la la la la la la la la la la la la
Fuck you!

---

I apologize in advance to anyone for whom I don't get a present...I'm poor.

That is all.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Nothing's Going To Ruin My Holiday

Here's the words to a little tune about making the best of a bad situation...or something like that.

---

This is going to be the best Christmas ever!

Everything this year's been a disaster
But I won't let that bother me at all
Nothing's gonna bring me down
It's Christmas and I'm pleased as punch
To stand my happy ground

I refuse to let my family make me crazy
I'll smile at their insults and their frowns
Ignore the shitty weather
Cause what counts is we're together
Loving safe and sound

Nothing's gonna ruin my holiday
Not this time, you hear?
And if you try to ruin my holiday
I swear you will regret it for the rest of the fucking year

The turkey might have made the children vomit
The tree burnt down and torched up all our gifts
But I will grin and bear it
And this nightmare we will share it
Til I get my only wish
It's

Nothing's gonna ruin my holiday
No act of God or family fight
Cause if you try to ruin my holiday
I swear you will regret it for the rest of your fucking life
You'll burn in Hell with hot pokers in your eyes
And acid on your flesh

This is going to be the best Christmas ever!

Soon this crappy Christmas will be over
And I'll go right back to my pissed off self
But until that happens
I will just continue laughing
Like one of those creepy retard mutant North-Pole elves

Nothing's gonna ruin my holiday
Not this year I won't let that be the case
And if you try to ruin my holiday
I'll punch you in your fat disgusting turkey eating face
Understand me?!

This is going to be the best Christmas EVER!

---

I don't even have a punchline for this one...

That is all.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Grandpa's Last X-mas

Track 2 of Oi! To The World is a lovely song embracing family values...

---

Mommy!

Mom says
'Put on your Christmas best
Grandpa's coming down this year
And it might be his last'
Why mom
You say that every time
It seems that he's been dying
Ever since that I was nine

I don't mean no disrespect
Because he's old and mean
How come we invite him
When he always makes a scene

Tell me why does
He hit me with his cane
And why should I get him a gift
If he don't know my name
How come
He always calls me Kate
And forgets his dentures
On his dinner plate

This could be Grandpa's last Christmas
That's what Mother says
Grandpa's last Christmas
And soon he might be dead
So be nice
Be nice
To Grandpa

What can
I say to someone 300 years old
When he seems so content
Staring at the Jell-o mold
Please mom
Let me go out and play
Or soon I will go deaf like him
From hearing him complain

I know
His life's been long and hard
And he deserves some quiet peace
In a nice graveyard
Grandpa
I love you just the same
But I know you won't be happy
Til you drove us all insane
Just like you

Grandpa's last Christmas
That's what Mother says
Grandpa's last Christmas
And soon he might be dead
So be nice
Be nice
To Grandpa
Cause he's old
And he smells
And he's gonna die soon
Be nice
To Grandpa

---

I actually played this at a family Christmas party a couple years ago. My grandpa loved it!

That is all.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Um...a sidenote on the Oi

So I just listened to 'Oi!...' all the way through and I've decided that there are a couple I don't think I'll be posting. I'd forgotten about them. But I'll still put a link up so you curious-types can still educate yourselves.

That is all.

A Gun For Christmas

The first installment of the magic that is Oi! To The World...

(note: this song is REALLY fast, so a couple lyrics may be misheard...)

---

Families lock their doors in fear that criminals might get them
But this Christmas rest assured that I will have my own protection

I'll get a gun for Christmas to pretect my other gifts
If burglars touch my property they won't leave here without a limp
Packing heat this Christmas I'll shoot it off on New Year's Eve
Cause bullets go in outer space when pointed up, I believe

A bullet sends a Christmas message that is clear and loud
Says I will not take all of this bullshit lying down
I'll get a gun for Christmas to protect my other gifts
I'll only tell you once, stay the fuck away from my shit

I will use my new weapon in self-defense and sport
And to keep the carollers off of my G*ddamn porch
And preventing Yuletide homicides this year

I won't be a victim this year thanks to Santa Claus
Sleeping with no fear of danger and it's all because
I'll get a gun for Christmas to protect my other gifts
I'll only tell you once, stay the fuck away from my shit

Christmas needs security, security is weapons
Vigilante action teaching criminals their lesson
It's the greatest gift we have, taking out our rival
Thank you Santa, thank you God for guaranteeing my survival

A bullet sends a Christmas message that is clear and loud
Says I will not take all of this bullshit lying down
I'll get a gun for Christmas to protect my other gifts
I'll only tell you once, stay the fuck away from my shit

I won't be a victim this year thanks to Santa Clause
Sleeping with no fear of danger and it's all because
I'll get a gun for Christmas to protect my other gifts
I'll only tell you once, stay the fuck away from my crap
I'll bust a cap in your ass

---

Co-G, I think of you every time I listen to this song...

That is all.

Friday, November 28, 2008

Oh, and!!!

With Christmas coming up, I'm going to be posting the lyrics to all the songs from My Favorite Christmas Album Ever (at least until I have children from whom I have to hide it).


Every few days starting December 1, I'll post the lyrics to every track (minus 'Dance of the Sugarplum Fairies' and 'Overture', both of which are instrumental...) in order.

Let's hope thePatrick doesn't beat me to any...

My finger's a few ounces heavier...

...but other than that, being married doesn't feel any different at all. I mean, yeah I don't have to go back to my apartment at midnight. And there's that whole procreating thing. But it's been about a week and it hasn't really HIT me that whoa, I'm married.

It almost did Sunday. But not quite.

Oh well. I'm liking it. I don't want to give the wrong impression with this.

Pics anyone?

I'm rad. You know it.

I got to play a special song for my sweetie. Happy.

Not sure what she sees...


Tossing the bouquet (caught by Evil Christy)


Debating to whom to fling the garter. John-Face got it.

We had such a fun night. My mom hired a car to take us to the hotel afterwards so we could just be disgusting in the back seat instead of me driving...




I had to secretly conspire with thePatrick every time I got the chance to arrange for him to drop my car off for me.


I'm honestly surprised at how fast the night went. We had a great time and almost forgot to cut the cake before we left! (pics to come later)

I'm glad the planning and stressing about the day are past. Now I just get to live out my days with my honey :)

That is all.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Myne Very Owne Lyric Quyze

So, taking a cue from thePatrick and Chonny, I've decided to put up my own Lyric Quiz. I knew 9 on thePatrick's (though I guess I only get credit for 7, as 2 were already guessed) and 7 on Chonny's.

Ready iTunes? Here we go...

X I think we have an emergency. I think we have an emergency. If you thought I'd leave then you were wrong cause I won't stop holding on
Emergency by paramore

2. When I first came to this island that I called my own name

X High as a kite on a flight soarin through the night, droppin new sh*t from the f***in mothership
Hellborn by Unwritten Law

4. We'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when. But I know we'll meet again some sunny day

5. I've got a friend, his name is motor, and he used to dance in the summer.

6. Whistles the wind blowin my way, sweepin me back, back here to stay

X We don't need no education, we don't need no thought control
Another Brick In The Wall by Pink Floyd

X There was a guy, an underwater guy who controlled the sea, got killed by ten million pounds of sludge from New York or New Jersey (2 acceptable answers for artist)
Monkey Gone To Heaven by The Pixies or Frank Black

9. When you grab a hold of me, tell me that I'll never be set free, but I'm a parasite, creep and crawl I step into the night

10. Hin und wieder stell' ich fest dass ich nicht mehr lachen kann, über Sachen die ich früher lustig fand

X I've been really tryin' baby, tryin' to hold back this feeling for so long
Let's Get It On by Marvin Gaye

X Mother and child, I'm such a man for a short while, and promises be, the world just spins faster than me
Energy by Collective Soul

X Met a girl, thought she was grand, fell in love, found out first hand
She Hates Me by Puddle Of Mudd

14. I haven't paid attention to a word you've said, and I wouldn't really care if tomorrow you were dead

X Hey hey hey that's what I say, Hey hey hey hey!
Running Out Of Turbo by The Sounds

16. I can still feel you I can still feel you

X Is this how it was intended, the sunrise over smokestacks in the midwest
All You Can Ever Learn Is What You Already Know by The Ataris

18. Ooh ooh, ooh ooh, you'll never be a better kind if you don't leave the world behind

19. Tonight I'm gonna have myself a real good time, I feel ali-i-i-ive

20. I'm a killer, cold and wrathful, silent sleeper, I've been inside your bedroom

21. Used to be one of the rotten ones and I liked you for that, now you're all gone got your makeup on and you're not coming back

22. They laugh at me aloud, they say I'm just a clown

X Bite the hand that feeds your face, one more thing you can't replace
Caving by Reggie And The Full Effect

X It's like seeing a car crash form inside the car, the driver's got his head craned back he's telling you a joke
USA-holes by NOFX

25. Walking down thought I saw a penny, something tells me it wasn't red

Good luck.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Peasant's Quest...

I had some time to kill on my grave shift, so I decided to beat Peasant's Quest. Or, got to the end anyway...you can't beat it. Trogdor's indestructible.

I stunk like a peasant.

I dressed like a peasant.

And I got on fire like a peasant.

Fun for me.

That is all.

Friday, November 14, 2008

It's Not Christmas Yet

I promise. Want proof? isitchristmas.com will tell you.

We still have another holiday to go before Christmas can come. Remember Thanksgiving? That holiday where we eat a lot?

(We do that every day...)

Ok, that holiday where we eat a lot with people that annoy us.

(Oh, he's anti-family...)

Really now. Let Christmas stay in December. Do we start getting ready for Halloween before Labor Day? Or do we see little green dudes all over the store when we go in to buy a card with a big red heart on it? Not so much. (If you do see this in whatever store you go to, please feel free to burn it down.)

So why exactly is it that Christmas is let loose so far before its time? I can't come up with a good answer. Sure, I've got my cynical, idealist rant about how commercialism is ruining Christmas, but that just makes me sound like a pompous douche. And we don't need anymore of those. There are Douche-a-Plenty in these parts. (That's right theBodilys, I used it in a sentence!)

And who in Frick's Crap decided that the day after Thanksgiving had to be the day EVERONE AND THEIR HAIRDRESSER starts shopping? Relax, you freaks! It's because of you all that I don't dare venture outside my house that day. Heck, sometimes I feel like I need to hunker down with a shotgun just to keep the most confused consumerist zombies off of my porch...

Whatever the cause, it is now irreversible. So I will give up my stand to keep Christmas in December and allow it to start on "Black Friday". But until then, NO decorations, NO displays in stores, and for the love of all that is in any way, shape, or form holy, NO CHRISTMAS SONGS ON THE EPHING RADIO!

Jerks.

That is all.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Veteran's Day

Thank you.

To everyone who has served, especially with me.

I know I've complained a lot about being a part of the army, but if I got a second chance, I'd enlist all over again. I don't know what I would be doing, where I would be living, or even who I would be. I've been presented with some amazing opportunities because of the choice I made. And my life has truly been blessed.

If I hadn't joined the army, I wouldn't be marrying Catherine in 11 days.

I joined. I got deployed. I met who would become my best friend. I moved to Logan because of him. I got hired at Youthtrack because of him. I convinced another friend to move to Logan and work with us. He and I moved in with a third friend who introduced me to The Woman I Would Marry.

In addition to Catherine and Patrick, there are several others who I never would have known otherwise. Matticus, Raisor, Mason, Leslita, SSG Hotlips, Shay, and Top Rod. These people have been a great source of happiness and comfort to me. They all get extra special thank you's.

EDIT: Upon completion of this blog, I read thePatrick's. Wow...freaky.

That is all.

PS: A note to the ROTC:
Please don't asplode things around me. Especially unannounced. I understand what you're doing and understand the purpose behind it; I even mildly appreciate it. However, the reason for my appreciation is the very same as the reason for my annoyance. Honoring people who have been around booms by making things go boom doesn't so much make sense to me. We don't like them.

Heart rates increase.
Hands tremble.
Legs give out.
Thoughts scramble, and yet immediately focus at the same time.

It's uncomfortable...

Sunday, November 9, 2008

So much cool...

Chontel brought me cream cheese at work last night. She told me to watch Eddie Izzard's standup. I laughed.



Then we randomly stumbled across this nugget of joy. Watch the WHOLE THING!!! At 2 minutes, you will officially lose your mind...



Today, I got this in my e-mail...thanks, Mom



Also, I played this game today. It's fun (f'realz)

On a not-so-rad note, don't go see The Haunting of Molly Hartley. It's beyond dumb.

That is all.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Called. It. !.

Remember a few blogs back when I mentioned Licensed Breeding?

Well, apparently, the Dutch Parliament reads my blog.

Check it out.

Please let this pass.

And spread. Like melted butter.

That is all.

Monday, November 3, 2008

It had to happen eventually...

Last night, the inevitable finally happened. I got RickRoll'd.



What is RickRolling, you ask? It's when one falsely posts a video labeled as something you actually want to watch, but then you're subjected to this.

I don't even remember what I was wanting to watch. But I laughed when it happened. I Wiki'd it and found out that this has been going around for over a year.

People have too much time on their hands.

Myself included. Yes, way, way too much time.

I think Catherine is planning an intervention.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Insanity: An all too familiar feeling...

So I know I just put the live video for this song up a couple weeks ago, but I need to kill some time and this song clocks in at nearly 8 minutes...so typing out the lyrics will help me postpone going to bed a little. But I'm not going to do it like I normally do. No line breaks... No punctuation...


---


Insanity


I'm so sorry please forgive me who do I pray to to straighten out this problem straighten out this problem straighten out my mind straighten out this crooked tongue this crooked tongue this crooked tongue my mind has wandered from the straight and narrow my mind has wandered from the flock you see my mind has wandered the man just said so my mind has wandered I heard it on TV and the flock has wandered away from me now all around the world now like a big bright cherry cloud traveling from home to home TV sets and telephones here it comes just like a storm bathe in it and be reborn time to let the world know welcome madness say hello say hello say hello like a wave we cannot see washing over you and me hiding here and hiding there madness hiding everywhere such a curiosity here it comes to set us free plenty left for you and me say hello insanity I am the virus are you the cure I am morally I'm morally impure I am a disease and I am unclean I am not part of God's well oiled machine Christian nation assimilate me take me in your arms and set me free I am part of a degenerate elite dragging our society into the street yeah into the abyss into the sewer don't you see the man just told me he told me on TV do you think you're better than me do you want to kill me or befriend me the alcoholic bastard waved his finger at me and his voice was filled with Evengelical glee now sipping down his gin and tonics while preaching about the evils of narcotics and the evils of sex and the wages of sin while he mentally fondles his next of kin cause my mind has wandered from the flock you see and the flock has wandered away from me and he waved his hypnotizing finger at me let's imitate reality insanity let's strive for mediocrity insanity let's make believe we're all the same now that's for me let's sanitize our little brains insanity I'd love to take you home with me and tuck you in to bed I'd love to see what makes you tick inside your pretty head I'd love to hear you laugh tonight I'd love to hear you weep I'd love to listen to you while you're screaming in your sleep Christian sons Christian daughters lead me along like a lamb to the slaughter purify my brain hose down my soul white perfection perfection is my goal do you think you're better than me do you want to kill me or befriend me Christian nation make us alright put us through the filter and make us pure and white cause my mind has wandered from the flock you see and the flock has wandered away from me and let's talk of family values while we sit and watch the slaugher hypothetical abortions on imaginary daughters the white folks think they're at the top ask any proud white male a million years of evolution we get Danny Quayle all around the world now like a big bright cherry cloud traveling from home to home TV sets and telephones here it comes just like a storm bathe in it and be reborn time to let the world know welcome madness say hello let's imitate reality insanity let's strive for mediocrity insanity let's make believe we're all the same now that's for me let's sanitize our little brains insanity I'd love to take you home with me I'd love to tuck you in I wish I could protect you from the wages of our sin I'd love to hear you scream tonight I'd love to hear you cry protect you from the madness that is raining from the sky let's imitate reality insanity let's strive for mediocrity insanity let's make believe we're all the same now that's for me let's sanitize our little brains insanity I'd love to take you home with me and tuck you in to bed I'd love to see what makes you tick inside your pretty head I wish that I could keep you in a precious Chinese box on Sundays I would pray for you so it would never stop I'd love to hear you laugh tonight I'd love to hear you weep I'd love to listen to you while you're screaming in your sleep I'd love to soothe you with my voice and take your hand in mine I'd love to take you past the stars and out of reach of time I'd love to see inside your mind and tear it all apart to cut you open with a knife and find your sacred heart I'd love to take your satin dolls and tear them all to shreds I'd love to mess your pretty hair I'd love to see you dead dead dead.


---


by Oingo Boingo


I loves me some Danny Elfman.


That is all.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

F'realz...

Oh, where to begin...

Ok, so my talk on Sunday went well. I still have people coming up to me (they don't know me...just recognize me from conference) telling me I did a good job.

I still don't like public speaking.

Christy took awesome pictures of Catherine and me. If you haven't already, check some of them out here. They're purdy.

We got the pictures printed on Sunday, but the resolution got screwed up when I edited them. Goodbye, $30... I really should have tried one out, rather than going ahead with all 185 of them. D'oh! But we e-mailed the originals to Catherine's dad and he's got it all sorted out. So we're printing them tomorrow...er, today...whatever day it is now...

School is a drag. But German is still easy-peasy. And Curling is rad-tastic.

I've got drill this weekend, and Catherine is going to her parents'/Salt Lake area on Friday for numerous reasons (pick up dress, bridal photos, another bridal shower, talk with cake lady...). Worst Halloween ever. Hopefully some kids trick-or-treat my house, or I'll feel like the world failed me.


And I'm working half a grave right now. So far, this has been the slowest hour-and-a-half of my life...need caffeine...and sugar...

That is all.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

The ease of sleep...



*I don't sleep at work...but I easily could...

I found this today and it made me laugh. I have problems staying awake in my Social Systems class. Today for example. Then I came 'home' (to Catherine's) and hung out for a little with her before going to sleep around 4-ish. She came in to say 'bye' before she left (final dress fitting and bridal shower tomorrow) about 7:30. After that, I couldn't get to sleep til after 10.

Now here I sit at work, ready to sleep at the drop of a hat. But there are no hats, so I suppose there will be no sleep.

But on the plus side, Catherine will come home tomorrow with bunches of new presents! YAY!

And Christy (good-type) is taking our engagement pictures for us :) That's happy making.

And I still have to write my talk...so I should probably go do that...

That is all.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

The Pumpkin King

Hey, kids. I don't have time to chit-chat, but here are my RAD-tastic jack-o-lanterns this year!




That is all.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Totally saw this coming...but not quite

Ok. So I'm in a singles ward. And I have four Sundays left 'til I'm no longer a single. For the last few weeks, I've had the feeling that before I leave, I'll be asked to speak in church. Guess who was right? Give you a hint: his name rhymes with 'Borte'. However, with one minor detail changed. See, I'm not going to be speaking in sacrament meeting. Oh, no. I'm speaking next week at Stake Conference.

I hate public speaking. I do not like it, Sam-I-Am.

I've often wondered what the worst situation for public speaking would be. In front of people you know and see all the time? Or in front of complete strangers? Normally, I might opt for the latter, seeing as how you probably won't see them again. But wait...this is for church. So I'm going to see all these people again. And I 'know' probably about 5 of them. So I've picked a third super-scary category: Strangers who you see all the time.

Yikes for me.

I wasn't even given a topic. Well ok, I was. But not outright. I was given a scripture reference and told to go from there. I'M NOT PERCEPTIVE TO THIS SORT OF THING!!!

Really, I'm not.

I have to fill 7 minutes. Remember how I can't talk for more than a minute or so straight before my throat starts hurting? Awesome. And I'll have just gotten off a grave shift two hours prior. Rad.

Ok, so I'm really not angry or upset at this. I'm just good at ranting. Stick with what you know, right? I think I might actually be a little bit excited for this.

That is all.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

I Drank Grape Soda For The First Time In A Long Time Tonight...

The other day, thePatrick told me, "You're so cryptic on your blogs."

It's true.

Sure, I don't mean to be. But at the same time, it's certainly no accident.

I'm just one of those people who somethetimes has to express. But I don't like talking. I like conversation, but I don't like talking. The actual act of doing so. Seriously, I had to read to some kids once and after a page-and-a-half my throat was sore. Too much word making causes me physical pain.

Wimpy? Possibly.

But I digress. Back to the crypticallity issue.

Everyone has crap they deal with. Many are suited to let it be and deal with it. Not so much me. I have to get whatever is bothering me out. However, I'm not always trusting enough to put everything out for everyone to read. Maybe I need to just get over it. Put everything on the table. But sometimes The Table seems too small. Then again, I'm small, but still house all this stuff somehow.

Thinking of what comes next, it hits me that I don't LIKE these kinds of posts, but they just fall out. I much prefer telling people about online gems I've found (suspicious vans...psycho teddy), ranting about that guy (this one's coming...I just want it to be perfect), and regaling roughly a dozen.5 readers about my awesome week. But in order to do that, I must first have an awesome week.

Not that anything has been particularly bad. I think anything bad or annoying can be chalked up to pre-wedding stress. But I don't want to use that as a safe, comfy bed either. Because if I think Oh, we'll get married and then everything will just be unicorns and bunnies! then I'm in for a shock. Don't get me wrong. I'm excited as all get-out to get married. I still get all twittery when I think about it and am looking forward to it (34 days, by the way). I'm just a realist and know that despite married life being great, LIFE still happens. Bills exist. Insurance is a bugger. And fights will occur.

Especially if I keep working the way I do.

I've come to the conclusion that grave shifts are great for single individuals with a mild, flexible social life. IE: Me, when I ORIGINALLY wanted the grave shift, a year-and-a-half ago. I took the grave shift a couple months ago because I hated being a supervisor and I wasn't in any kind of mood to stay on swing shift at all. Starting school made day shift a no-go. So I took the available shift that I had wanted so badly for so long. However, it no longer suits my lifestyle. With the exception of the occasional errand that comes by, I've found that my day basically has room for three things. When I was single (and during the summer, when Catherine was living at her parents' house) these things were Work, Sleep, and playing/visiting family/slacking off. Now that Catherine is a part of my life, I have to find room to fit her in. No problem. She fits nicely in the third time slot. Uh-oh...I also go to school now. I have four things in a three-slot day. Work and school are pretty much mandatory. So what gets cut? Certainly not the love of my life. So my sleep suffers greatly. Now because my sleep suffers greatly, my mood shifts to that of the 'Get-off-my-lawn' guy. This displeases Catherine greatly.

Now, I've almost gotten my sleep schedule worked out to where I've successfully turned my day into a four-slot day. It's been difficult, especially since every day is different...

The one part that's hardest is that Catherine and I have to sleep at different times. While currently, it's kind of a bummer, once we're married it will become absolutely unacceptable. I don't want to spend FOUR NIGHTS A WEEK at work. That time could be better spent...uh...writing thank you notes...for the gifts...yeah. That's something newlyweds do that's conversationally appropriate, right?

(My train of thought keeps jumping the tracks...sorry)

I get moody. Catherine gets annoyed. Then quality time isn't so much that. Eventually it gets bad enough that I just go to bed. Then I wake up all apologetic that I was acting like a mean old man. She's spent a couple hours cross-stitching and watching an old movie, so she's happier too. Unfortunately, it's time for me to go to work at this point. GAAH!

In closing, if I'm being cryptic, just ask. Chances are I'm ok telling you. And if I'm not, I'll just answer you in an ambiguous manner which will leave you smiling and satisfied. TWSS.

That is all.

Friday, October 17, 2008

A Period of ReDiscovery.

It seems recently that I've been remembering things I once loved. Like the post before this one, with the Get Set Go demos...like Mountain Dew Code Red...and most recently, Swedish mullets and nasty-staches. Proceed.

A couple years ago, I became aware of this guy. Ladies, meet Günther.


Günther quickly became my favorite Swedish pop star. (Ok, so that was easy seeing as how pop and I have never exactly been on speaking terms...) Then, just as quickly, he faded from my memory and I moved on.

Earlier this week, I was looking around Youtube for something to entertain me on a grave shift when I suddenly remembered: Günther and the Sunshine Girls! And treated myself to this...


WARNING: DUDE-ITY FOLLOWS




Yep. Other hits include Teeney Weeney Sting Bikini and Tutti Frutti Summer Love. And for my friends with a myspace, watch your comments as the Christmas season approaches. I'll see that you all get some Günther Güdness...

And I'll leave you with this... (50 points if you actually watch BOTH videos all the way through!)

Psst...more dude-ity in this one too...sorry



That is all.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Happy

I recently remembered that I have a bunch of Get Set Go demos that were sent to me in exchange for a donation to their tour fund this past summer. I've been spending my shift re-familiarizing myself with them and felt like sharing. This one makes me happy. I think it's called 'Happy'

*normally I don't edit for content, but I feel like it tonight for some reason...*

---

Gumdrops and lollipops
And chocolate covered candy canes
Rainbows and cheerios
And tootsie rolls fall like rain
I'm so hap-hap-happy
I'm so f***ing happy, hey
I'm so G**d*** happy
Now won't you go away

I'm so f***ing happy
That I'll puke away the day
I'm so very happy
That I think I'm going gay

La la la la la la
Are you happy too
La la la la la la
What is wrong with you
La la la la la la
It's another happy day
La la la la la la
Won't you come out and play
Hey, let's scare those blues away

Puppy dogs and singing frogs
And unicorns riding bikes
Sunday funnies and fluffy bunnies
And everything else I like
I'm so hap-hap-happy
I'm so happy don't you know
I'm so G**d*** happy
Now won't you f***ing go

I'm so f***ing happy
That I'll punch you in the nose
Electrocute your genitals
Until your eyeballs glow

La la la la la la
Are you happy too
La la la la la la
What is wrong with you
La la la la la la
It's another happy day
La la la la la la
Won't you come out and play
Hey, let's scare those blues away

Baby are you blue (this repeats like 11 times)

I'm so hap-hap-happy
I'm so happy I could cry
I'm so f***ing happy
I'm so happy all the time

I'm so gosh-darn happy
But I'm not gonna lie
I'm so very happy
I'm so happy I could die

---

He's happy. So am I. Probably not as sarcastically though. Well, maybe a little...but only because I'm tired.

That is all.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Make the happy come back...

I got really stressed today. Then I tried to take a nap. That didn't work. Then an attempt to talk it out was made. Then I became physically ill and cried a bit. Now I'm at work.

Great day.

One of those where saying very bad things would make me feel better.

The ways of the world suck. Things that HAVE to be taken care of, even though I really don't care. People who decide to slack on their jobs and make me have to deal with the subsequent stress-induced breakdown need to be kicked in the ovaries. True story.

I'm not a violent person at all. but boy, would it be fun.

That is all.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Army = Angry-Making...



I don't like the army. Let me rephrase that... I don't mind the army itself. I DETEST being a part of it. There are reasons. I've run out of numbers. So here are reasons F, II-27, and Walrus.v.2ox6 why I feel this way.

F: SRP (Soldier Readiness Program [or some crap like that])


This can pretty much be summed up in one phrase: Hurry up and wait. I don't like standing in line. I enjoy being herded and rushed to get in a 2-hour line even less. This weekend we had to go through a bunch of checks to make sure we were ready 'just in case' we get deployed. 180-something soldiers...1 doctor. Efficiency.

II-27: APFT (Army Physical Fitness Test)


I'm 23. This means that in order to pass this test, I must complete 40 push-ups, 50 sit-ups, and a 16:36 or faster 2-mile run. Push-ups and sit-ups, no problem. On Friday I got 55 and 70, respectively. I ran my 2-mile in 16:50. That's 14 seconds over for those of you who like math as much as me. I failed. The whole test is worth 300 points. The minimum score to pass is 180, with at least 60 points in each event. I scored 221. Yet, I failed. my run was a 57. At this point I had two options: Take it again next month (um...running in November...NO!), or take it the next day. I decided it would look better for me to at least try taking it the next day. So Saturday morning I knocked out my minimum 40 and 50. I managed to pass my run with a 16:34. Yep, I made it by 2 measly seconds. (Here's the fun part) I have shoulder issues. Too complicated to go in to detail, but it sufficeth me to say my left shoulder sucks. As I came up on my 34th push-up, I heard/felt something in my shoulder go awry. It's been hurting worse than ever for the last 2 days. I can't reach over my head. I can't lie down on either side for very long. It hurts to breathe.

Walrus.v.2ox6: NLUGTFHBAIMITWSADN (Not letting us go the freak home because apparently it's more important that we sit around doing nothing)


This basically comes down to PPP: Piss-Poor Planning. Now, at drill we have to train on common soldier tasks. They're redundant and boring, but they're something to do. This weekend someone apparently decided that all the sergeants needed training on some stuff. That left all of us low-ranking fellas to sit around. On our thumbs if we got too bored. Personally, I don't know what could have been done to make everything run smoother. That's not my job. I do, however, know that everything could have been much easier. Especially the part about us not being able to go home til the Blackfoot guys (who were in Preston with us...yeah makes sense) got back to their armory. Ok. Their bus was supposed to pick them up at noon. Someone with too much brass decided it was a good idea for them to only use one buss for the whole battalion. All the units had to share ONE bus to get them home. So they finally left a little after 1. Now, with all our training completed, and the whole armory cleaned, we had to wait another hour-and-a-half for them to get home before we could leave. WTF?!?

I'm annoyed. My shoulder hurts. And I'm supposed to decide whether I want to re-enlist...HA!

That is all.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Slow, agonizing, lonely death

Ok, so that title may be misleadingly depressing. Let it be known that psychologically, there is nothing currently wrong with me.

Now to my point. I'm supposed to be curling right now. But I'm dying. I should probably be sleeping, but it doesn't work out so well when I have to get up every fifteen minutes.

And to compound it, I don't have anyone to coddle me at the moment. Catherine had to make a trip home to take care of some things. And she's taking for freaking ever. *sigh* Oh well.

Being sick sucks. Being sick and unable to curl REALLY sucks.

Also, as I type this, CSI: Miami just came on. David Caruso is distracting...everything he says is so effing dramatic. And he looks like a ferret.

That is all.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Should I feel better or worse?

Sometimes I witness behaviors that really make me feel better about myself. Like our president.

bush_bookupsidedown.jpg
see more pwn and owned pictures

And this guy.


see more pwn and owned pictures

See, I look at them and feel smart. I don't read children's books upside-down and I don't own a spiderman banana-hammock. However, there are certain limits as to when stupid people make me feel better. Case in point:



While some stupidity is refreshing, other stupidity (like this woman) makes me weep for the future. I marvel at the state of humanity and can't help but think that Darwin = FAIL. These people, along with the clients I work with, are why I will advocate licensed breeding when it becomes an issue in the near future. Don't think it won't. Sure it sounds like a bad sci-fi movie, but think about it. The gov't is already controlling (or trying to control) several aspects of our lives (in some cases I feel this is warranted; others, well...just let us be). It's only a matter of time until they start trying to control who should be allowed to reproduce. And I will vote YES on that. There should be a test. There needs to be a gen-ed portion, a verbal Q&A portion, and a PARENTING SKILLS portion. All parents-to-be should have to have previous experience with at least 5 babies not belonging to them prior to becoming licensed. Like, a lot. This will help reduce the amount of "surprise" and subsequent stress on the parents as they will actually realize that ANYTHING can happen.

Now, I an fully confident that all the people with whom I associate will be/are wonderful parents. Many of my friends are having babies and this is not a rant at them. This is a rant at those who allow their children to smoke pot in the basement; those who don't equip their children with necessary decision-making skills; those who just don't give a damn.

I've seen it where I work and I've heard about it where Catherine works. And frankly, it pisses me off.

When I started this, I really didn't expect to get so angry by the end...seriously, I just realized I was clenching my jaw while typing. It hurts now. Anyway, that's not the direction I meant to go in I meant to end with this...

...but then I realize that in my own little world, I'm ok
(if you can't see the whole picture, right click, view image)

natalie dee
nataliedee.com

That is all.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Gratuitous Boingo (hey, that sounds dirty, fella...)

This whole past week has been wonky. You know how Vh1 has that show "Best Week Ever"? Well, my week was kind of like that, but opposite. Well, maybe not quite. I don't think I'd classify it as the worst week ever...

I won't recap. All the blogs are still right below this one. But I'll skip to today's (Friday...yeah, I know it's not anymore but it still is to me) events.

I got off work and hung around a bit to try and talk to James. When he still wasn't there at a quarter after 8 I said screw it and went home. Or rather, Catherine's house... I cuddled up next to her for a couple hours before she had to go to her internship. I set an alarm to make sure I'd wake up to my 12:30 class. I woke up later at almost 2 and couldn't find my phone (aka, alarm). Great. So I missed the class I'm struggling most in. Oh well. I found my phone almost 2 hours later on the other side of the room, in the closet (?) turned off... Confusion ensued. As of yet, I still can't remember how the eff it got there.

Then Catherine and I went to Salt Lake so she could see her dress lady and make sure that was all on track. I visited with my little sisters while she was doing that and talked over last night's events with them. I was glad to find out I'm not the only one being bothered. I mean, the nature of the issue would naturally bother them too, but we were all so young at the time (Sica was only 4) that I wasn't sure if they remembered anything bothersome. Turns out Sica had a bad dream about it that same night and took great comfort in my destroying of the radio. (By the way: If any of this is going over your head, that's ok. Just childhood trauma being worked out...) Liz told me she has bad dreams sometimes too. I rarely dream, and never about that. But I do have one horrible memory that ceaselessly haunts me. Anyway, the point of this part was that I know my sisters are in the same boat as me and that makes me feel better.

When Catherine and I got back to her place we cuddled a bit. She could tell I was a bit upset so she helped make me feel a little better. (Don't worry...we behaved). Then we talked a little more Then I came to work.

Now I'm here. And typing this.

Here's a video for your enjoyment.



One of the best songs ever...

That is all.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Ok...just because I just listened to it...

"Brand New Day"
From: Dr. Horrible's Singalong Blog

---

This appeared as a moral dilemma
Cause at first it was weird though I swore to eliminate
The worst of the plague that devoured humanity
It's true I was vague on the how
So how can it be that you
Have shown me the light?

It's a brand new day
And the sun is high
All the birds are singing
That you're gonna die
How I hesitated
Now I wonder why
It's a brand new day

All the times that you beat me unconscious
I forgive, all the crimes incomplete, listen honestly
I'll live Mr. Cool, Mr. Right, Mr. Know-it-all is through
Now the future's so bright and I owe it all to you
Who showed me the light

It's a brand new me
I've got no remorse
Now the water's rising
But I know the course
I'm gonna shock the world
Gonna show Bad Horse
It's a brand new day

And Penny will see the evil me
Not a joke, not a dork, not a failure
And she may cry but her tears will dry
When I hand her the keys to a shiny new Australia

It's a brand new day
Yeah the sun is high
All the angels sing
Because you're gonna die
Go ahead and laugh
Yeah, I'm a funny guy
Tell everyone goodbye
It's a brand new day...


...and the work week begins again...

(this is my periodic rant issue...)

For those that don't know (and I'm sure you all do...I work with most, if not all, of you who read this), I work Friday-Monday morning grave shifts, midnight to 8. I go to school Monday through Friday. I don't have a day off...ever.

Some weekends I have drill. Those times, I want to punt puppies. I really don't like drill. Everything involves so much ephing paperwork. It's ridiculous.

So whenever I have a little time to relax, I do so. And in doing so, don't get anything done. And when it's time to be done relaxing, I'm still tired.

I don't like school. Specifically, two of my classes. They're over my head and I just don't want to go to them. The rest (curling, german, and creative arts) are ok. I'm still liking them just fine.

I had a crappy night tonight. Exorcised some personal demons, I think. Got issues from 14 years ago off my chest. As much as I hated talking about it, and the lead-up to talking about it, I feel a lot better now. Catherine is wonderful to me.

I'm too tired right now to keep going. Maybe tomorrow's will be cheerier. Probably.

That is all.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Quality vs Quantity.

I often speculate as to the quality of my bloggings. There are some good ones out there. AoS, that's your shout out. However, they aren't really updated all that often. Which leads me to wonder: Are some just more selective about what gets blogg'd? Or is just because of time constraint?

Honestly, I can't really picture someone (particularly the people who I run in circles with) sitting at home, scribbling on sticky-notes saying, "Oh, yeah...that's a good one. I'll have to put that up." or "No, that's stupid...guess there's no blog tonight..."

I figure it's the time constraint one. I mean, I put these up here all the time. But that's because I have all the time. Grave shifts will do that to you. 5.75 to 7.5 hours, 4 nights a week? Yeah, I have to type just to keep my sanity at a manageable level. I mean, web-comics only take so long to check, and I don't like news. Aside from those, I've got myspace and facebook, but again, those take only so long to check up on.

I could read. In fact, I've tried it. I enjoy reading enough, but to do it when I would rather be sleeping is not conducive to remembering it the next day. Just the other night, I had to read the same 8-line paragraph 5 times before I could get through it without nodding off for a second and losing my place. (Thank you Patrick/Mason for not doing a grave check that night).

Ok. This banter bores me. Next.

Bobo made some of these. WWNPHD? wristband thingies. I like them. Neil Patrick Harris is rad. Unfortunately, I've never seen an episode of Doogie Howser M.D. Someday I will.


---

So yeah. The problem with having so much time to post these things is that eventually one just runs out of things to say. I mean, it's not like anything I've done so far has been terribly relevant, but at least I could make sense of it.

Since I think I'm done for the night, here's Allred playing With Or Without You. It's way better than U2.



That is all.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Ahhhh....

I'm feeling much better. Partially thanks to Co-G sending me this video. It made me happy.


But it was mostly due to finally talking to Catherine. There'd been stuff running through my head that I'd been wanting to get out, but felt like I was just being neurotic and insecure. I knew that what was making me worry didn't matter and it was silly for me to be worrying about it. When I finally was able to bring it up though, she was understanding, even if she thought I was being silly. Now all is well. I feel a whole lot better. A lot better than I did yesterday, and a lot better in general because I know that specific worry won't come up anymore. It's one I can do without.

That is all.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Standard Break From Life

I'm happy. When I'm around people, I'm a fairly stable person when it comes to mental health. However, too much time all by myself results in mental unrest. My mind starts wandering and suddenly gets somewhere I don't want it to be. A dark, scary place where hypothetical events occur, thereby upsetting me greatly.

So, usually happy but today greatly upset = Standard Break From Life. This song doesn't really have much to do with anything, but I feel like typing it out while waiting for youtube videos to load. Enjoy!

Standard Break From Life

by Alkaline Trio

I've got a regular problem
So my standard break from life is in order
I'm having trouble making sentences
I'm older, but I don't feel any smarter
You see I don't know what I said to you
And now you're pissed at 'you-know-who'
And I guess I deserve it
Wish I could waste my time without wasting all your time

I try to leave a good impression
But it's hard when my obsession's in a pint glass
And when you're only 23 it's not
Attractive to complain about your sore back
Yes I can bitch until my eyes are blue
And you're in bed with someone new
And I guess you deserve him
Wish I could waste my time without wasting all your time

You say I'm fixable
A classic case, lack of will
I say I don't want to try
I'd rather sit here all night

I've got a motivation problem
So my standard break from life is getting longer
Spent over 30 hours in this bed
In 2 days I guess I could have phoned her
But now that I'm awake I'd rather
Take a drink and walk down to the lake
And beg the sky for lightning bolts
I can't waste my time without wasting all your time

You say it's fixable
A classic case, lack of will
I say I don't want to try
I'd rather sit here all night

---


That is all.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

This good ol' Web of the World Wide variety...

Y'know, there are websites to inform. There are websites to help those of us with diminished social skills find a mate. And there are websites that you keep under your favorites list, dubiously labeled as "Bible Studies".


And then there's this. Suspiciousvans.com. Thank you, Buddha.

What's that you say? "Norte, I'm too scared to click the link. Will you post some samples?"

Of course!!!



Subtle...




Born-Again-Van




Middle-aged-guy-who-still-likes-anime-Van (AoS?)




I-still-read-comic-books-Van




Creepy-Clown-Van




Creepier?-Clown-Van...

Thank you, Collegehumor.com for informing me of this gem of a site.

That is all.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Gone Curlin'

So, my curling class with Huff and thePatrick is pretty swell. I mean, I was excited for it just waiting for the first class, but now that we've actually had it, I can't wait to get on the ice and start learning the technique and crap.

Here's the thing. I saw a curling match on TV once...I think it was the Nagano olympics in '98. I thought, 'This is the most ridiculous thing ever...how is this an olympic sport?' Then during the '06 games, Patrick and I were roommates. I came downstairs one morning and found him watching curling and had to give him a little crap about it. However, since I had nothing better to do I sat down and watched it with him. After he explained the rules to me I decided it was kinda cool. By the final match between Canada and Finland I was standing on the couch screaming along with the skip (team captain).

And now I'm all about this class. We're probably going to join the Cache Valley Stone Society. That's the curling club here in Logan. 'Cause we're cool like that.

I found this video and actually found myself on the edge of my seat at the very end. It's pretty cool. Let me explain briefly: Curling is divided into Ends. An end is like an inning in baseball. Each team delivers 8 stones. The score for the end is determined after all 16 stones have been delivered. Only one team scores per end. The amount of points scored is based on the number of stones in the Home (the target), starting in the button (center) and moving outward until an opponent's stone is reached. So if your stone is closest to the center, you get the points. One point for every stone closer to the button than your opponent's closest stone. Very rarely does anyone score an 8 Ender...


Yep, I'm a nerd.

Also, I like the word 'Bonspiel'. That's a curling tournament.

That is all.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Oh, dating videos...

Dear thePatrick,

Remember when we'd watch the dating on demand videos so you could find me a wife? Well, this guy needs your help more.

(nsfw language)
Redneck Video Dating Disaster - Watch more free videos

I could be that guy who goes through and point out all this guys flaws...but it's funny on it's own. So I'll leave you with this:

Find Janice!

That is all.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Effing fetching, friggin' fracker...

Remember how a few days ago I put up a video about Don LaFontaine? If not, scroll down...

Anyway, he died on Tuesday. Remind me not to sing anyone's praises anymore. They just die.

I'm sad. He was a nice guy, apparently. And now movie trailers are going to suck.

Seriously, I don't get upset when celebrities die...but this one actually kinda tears me up a bit.

That is all.

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Reggie and the Full Effect...in EFFING full effect!

Let me start with this: I got to stare at this man's junk all night.

So, thePatrick, John and I went down to good ol' SLC this evening to see the Reggie And The Full Effect farewell tour. Awesomely sad faces all around. We got to the Avalon Theatre (the scheduled venue according to the webernet) just before 6:30 (door time). Perfect! And there were only about a dozen or so people there. Woo! No crowd to deal with! So they opened the doors a little late (no biggie) and welcomed us, their meal tickets, in.

Once inside, we went straight for the Will-Call desk, only to be informed that the Reggie show had been moved to In The Venue. GAH! I guess that would explain the lack of Reggie on the marquee...


So we jumped back in the car and jetted north to the correct place. We also had two 16-year-old girls in tow who needed a ride...yeah. We're not creepy or anything like that. Once we arrived at In The Venue, I saw James Dewees (Reggie's singer and the owner of the aforementioned junk) and suggested the Patrick get a picture with him. He did.


I got one too, but Patrick hasn't made that one available for me to steal from his blog...

Anyway, the first band was Warship. I'd describe them as metal with an emphasis on METAL!!! Yeah. Didn't like them so much. And that's enough about them.

The next band was Leather Mouth. This is Frank Iero's (My Chemical Romance's guitarist) side project. And good ol' Mr. Dewees was on drums. He's rad, by the way. This band was also METAL!!!, but not to a crappy degree. I actually liked them a bit.


After them it was MC Chris's turn. He's a 'laptop rapper', similar to MC Lars. Check them both out. Pretty cool. He's got a really high pitched voice and goes really fast. He's a big Reggie fan and was saying how cool it was to be opening for them. "I went to the Playboy Mansion. I was dressed as Bobba Fett and f***ed a Playboy Bunny in a Slave Leia costume once, and THIS is cooler than that!" Wow. Congratulations, sir.

And then Reggie came. And angels descended and all was right with the world. Oh, except for the fat, drunk guy who kept beligerantly running into us trying to get to the front. Seriously, he was making everyone there mad. So Patrick popped him in the face with his elbow. He also got pushed down a few times and may or may not have gotten kicked once or twice. Everyone started swarming him whenever he came up to us. One of his friends came up and asked Patrick if he wanted to fight. That was rad. Reggie's guitarist (the one who did not look like Abe Lincoln...yeah that was weird) tried to talk everyone down from fighting. Then James piped up "Why are you guys fighting over silly pop-metal? These songs were written in the 90's. That's like fighting over Pearl Jam!" Funny to me.

Shortly after that, the drunk guy got kicked out, and Patrick almost did, but several many people came to his defense and exonerated him.

All in all, it was a rad night. I'm sad to see Reggie go, but I'm glad I got to see them go...if that makes sense. Although, when Frank said it was the Farewell Tour, he did use finger quotes. So I see that as basis for hope...

There's so much more to tell, but that will have to wait for another day, I'm sure.

That is all (until then)