F'realz...

Oh, where to begin...

Ok, so my talk on Sunday went well. I still have people coming up to me (they don't know me...just recognize me from conference) telling me I did a good job.

I still don't like public speaking.

Christy took awesome pictures of Catherine and me. If you haven't already, check some of them out here. They're purdy.

We got the pictures printed on Sunday, but the resolution got screwed up when I edited them. Goodbye, $30... I really should have tried one out, rather than going ahead with all 185 of them. D'oh! But we e-mailed the originals to Catherine's dad and he's got it all sorted out. So we're printing them tomorrow...er, today...whatever day it is now...

School is a drag. But German is still easy-peasy. And Curling is rad-tastic.

I've got drill this weekend, and Catherine is going to her parents'/Salt Lake area on Friday for numerous reasons (pick up dress, bridal photos, another bridal shower, talk with cake lady...). Worst Halloween ever. Hopefully some kids trick-or-treat my house, or I'll feel like the world failed me.


And I'm working half a grave right now. So far, this has been the slowest hour-and-a-half of my life...need caffeine...and sugar...

That is all.

The ease of sleep...

*I don't sleep at work...but I easily could...

I found this today and it made me laugh. I have problems staying awake in my Social Systems class. Today for example. Then I came 'home' (to Catherine's) and hung out for a little with her before going to sleep around 4-ish. She came in to say 'bye' before she left (final dress fitting and bridal shower tomorrow) about 7:30. After that, I couldn't get to sleep til after 10.

Now here I sit at work, ready to sleep at the drop of a hat. But there are no hats, so I suppose there will be no sleep.

But on the plus side, Catherine will come home tomorrow with bunches of new presents! YAY!

And Christy (good-type) is taking our engagement pictures for us :) That's happy making.

And I still have to write my talk...so I should probably go do that...

That is all.

The Pumpkin King

Hey, kids. I don't have time to chit-chat, but here are my RAD-tastic jack-o-lanterns this year!




That is all.

Totally saw this coming...but not quite

Ok. So I'm in a singles ward. And I have four Sundays left 'til I'm no longer a single. For the last few weeks, I've had the feeling that before I leave, I'll be asked to speak in church. Guess who was right? Give you a hint: his name rhymes with 'Borte'. However, with one minor detail changed. See, I'm not going to be speaking in sacrament meeting. Oh, no. I'm speaking next week at Stake Conference.

I hate public speaking. I do not like it, Sam-I-Am.

I've often wondered what the worst situation for public speaking would be. In front of people you know and see all the time? Or in front of complete strangers? Normally, I might opt for the latter, seeing as how you probably won't see them again. But wait...this is for church. So I'm going to see all these people again. And I 'know' probably about 5 of them. So I've picked a third super-scary category: Strangers who you see all the time.

Yikes for me.

I wasn't even given a topic. Well ok, I was. But not outright. I was given a scripture reference and told to go from there. I'M NOT PERCEPTIVE TO THIS SORT OF THING!!!

Really, I'm not.

I have to fill 7 minutes. Remember how I can't talk for more than a minute or so straight before my throat starts hurting? Awesome. And I'll have just gotten off a grave shift two hours prior. Rad.

Ok, so I'm really not angry or upset at this. I'm just good at ranting. Stick with what you know, right? I think I might actually be a little bit excited for this.

That is all.

I Drank Grape Soda For The First Time In A Long Time Tonight...

The other day, thePatrick told me, "You're so cryptic on your blogs."

It's true.

Sure, I don't mean to be. But at the same time, it's certainly no accident.

I'm just one of those people who somethetimes has to express. But I don't like talking. I like conversation, but I don't like talking. The actual act of doing so. Seriously, I had to read to some kids once and after a page-and-a-half my throat was sore. Too much word making causes me physical pain.

Wimpy? Possibly.

But I digress. Back to the crypticallity issue.

Everyone has crap they deal with. Many are suited to let it be and deal with it. Not so much me. I have to get whatever is bothering me out. However, I'm not always trusting enough to put everything out for everyone to read. Maybe I need to just get over it. Put everything on the table. But sometimes The Table seems too small. Then again, I'm small, but still house all this stuff somehow.

Thinking of what comes next, it hits me that I don't LIKE these kinds of posts, but they just fall out. I much prefer telling people about online gems I've found (suspicious vans...psycho teddy), ranting about that guy (this one's coming...I just want it to be perfect), and regaling roughly a dozen.5 readers about my awesome week. But in order to do that, I must first have an awesome week.

Not that anything has been particularly bad. I think anything bad or annoying can be chalked up to pre-wedding stress. But I don't want to use that as a safe, comfy bed either. Because if I think Oh, we'll get married and then everything will just be unicorns and bunnies! then I'm in for a shock. Don't get me wrong. I'm excited as all get-out to get married. I still get all twittery when I think about it and am looking forward to it (34 days, by the way). I'm just a realist and know that despite married life being great, LIFE still happens. Bills exist. Insurance is a bugger. And fights will occur.

Especially if I keep working the way I do.

I've come to the conclusion that grave shifts are great for single individuals with a mild, flexible social life. IE: Me, when I ORIGINALLY wanted the grave shift, a year-and-a-half ago. I took the grave shift a couple months ago because I hated being a supervisor and I wasn't in any kind of mood to stay on swing shift at all. Starting school made day shift a no-go. So I took the available shift that I had wanted so badly for so long. However, it no longer suits my lifestyle. With the exception of the occasional errand that comes by, I've found that my day basically has room for three things. When I was single (and during the summer, when Catherine was living at her parents' house) these things were Work, Sleep, and playing/visiting family/slacking off. Now that Catherine is a part of my life, I have to find room to fit her in. No problem. She fits nicely in the third time slot. Uh-oh...I also go to school now. I have four things in a three-slot day. Work and school are pretty much mandatory. So what gets cut? Certainly not the love of my life. So my sleep suffers greatly. Now because my sleep suffers greatly, my mood shifts to that of the 'Get-off-my-lawn' guy. This displeases Catherine greatly.

Now, I've almost gotten my sleep schedule worked out to where I've successfully turned my day into a four-slot day. It's been difficult, especially since every day is different...

The one part that's hardest is that Catherine and I have to sleep at different times. While currently, it's kind of a bummer, once we're married it will become absolutely unacceptable. I don't want to spend FOUR NIGHTS A WEEK at work. That time could be better spent...uh...writing thank you notes...for the gifts...yeah. That's something newlyweds do that's conversationally appropriate, right?

(My train of thought keeps jumping the tracks...sorry)

I get moody. Catherine gets annoyed. Then quality time isn't so much that. Eventually it gets bad enough that I just go to bed. Then I wake up all apologetic that I was acting like a mean old man. She's spent a couple hours cross-stitching and watching an old movie, so she's happier too. Unfortunately, it's time for me to go to work at this point. GAAH!

In closing, if I'm being cryptic, just ask. Chances are I'm ok telling you. And if I'm not, I'll just answer you in an ambiguous manner which will leave you smiling and satisfied. TWSS.

That is all.

A Period of ReDiscovery.

It seems recently that I've been remembering things I once loved. Like the post before this one, with the Get Set Go demos...like Mountain Dew Code Red...and most recently, Swedish mullets and nasty-staches. Proceed.

A couple years ago, I became aware of this guy. Ladies, meet Günther.


Günther quickly became my favorite Swedish pop star. (Ok, so that was easy seeing as how pop and I have never exactly been on speaking terms...) Then, just as quickly, he faded from my memory and I moved on.

Earlier this week, I was looking around Youtube for something to entertain me on a grave shift when I suddenly remembered: Günther and the Sunshine Girls! And treated myself to this...

WARNING: DUDE-ITY FOLLOWS

Yep. Other hits include Teeney Weeney Sting Bikini and Tutti Frutti Summer Love. And for my friends with a myspace, watch your comments as the Christmas season approaches. I'll see that you all get some Günther Güdness...

And I'll leave you with this... (50 points if you actually watch BOTH videos all the way through!)

Psst...more dude-ity in this one too...sorry

That is all.

Happy

I recently remembered that I have a bunch of Get Set Go demos that were sent to me in exchange for a donation to their tour fund this past summer. I've been spending my shift re-familiarizing myself with them and felt like sharing. This one makes me happy. I think it's called 'Happy'

*normally I don't edit for content, but I feel like it tonight for some reason...*

---

Gumdrops and lollipops
And chocolate covered candy canes
Rainbows and cheerios
And tootsie rolls fall like rain
I'm so hap-hap-happy
I'm so f***ing happy, hey
I'm so G**d*** happy
Now won't you go away

I'm so f***ing happy
That I'll puke away the day
I'm so very happy
That I think I'm going gay

La la la la la la
Are you happy too
La la la la la la
What is wrong with you
La la la la la la
It's another happy day
La la la la la la
Won't you come out and play
Hey, let's scare those blues away

Puppy dogs and singing frogs
And unicorns riding bikes
Sunday funnies and fluffy bunnies
And everything else I like
I'm so hap-hap-happy
I'm so happy don't you know
I'm so G**d*** happy
Now won't you f***ing go

I'm so f***ing happy
That I'll punch you in the nose
Electrocute your genitals
Until your eyeballs glow

La la la la la la
Are you happy too
La la la la la la
What is wrong with you
La la la la la la
It's another happy day
La la la la la la
Won't you come out and play
Hey, let's scare those blues away

Baby are you blue (this repeats like 11 times)

I'm so hap-hap-happy
I'm so happy I could cry
I'm so f***ing happy
I'm so happy all the time

I'm so gosh-darn happy
But I'm not gonna lie
I'm so very happy
I'm so happy I could die

---

He's happy. So am I. Probably not as sarcastically though. Well, maybe a little...but only because I'm tired.

That is all.

Make the happy come back...

I got really stressed today. Then I tried to take a nap. That didn't work. Then an attempt to talk it out was made. Then I became physically ill and cried a bit. Now I'm at work.

Great day.

One of those where saying very bad things would make me feel better.

The ways of the world suck. Things that HAVE to be taken care of, even though I really don't care. People who decide to slack on their jobs and make me have to deal with the subsequent stress-induced breakdown need to be kicked in the ovaries. True story.

I'm not a violent person at all. but boy, would it be fun.

That is all.

Army = Angry-Making...

I don't like the army. Let me rephrase that... I don't mind the army itself. I DETEST being a part of it. There are reasons. I've run out of numbers. So here are reasons F, II-27, and Walrus.v.2ox6 why I feel this way.

F: SRP (Soldier Readiness Program [or some crap like that])


This can pretty much be summed up in one phrase: Hurry up and wait. I don't like standing in line. I enjoy being herded and rushed to get in a 2-hour line even less. This weekend we had to go through a bunch of checks to make sure we were ready 'just in case' we get deployed. 180-something soldiers...1 doctor. Efficiency.

II-27: APFT (Army Physical Fitness Test)


I'm 23. This means that in order to pass this test, I must complete 40 push-ups, 50 sit-ups, and a 16:36 or faster 2-mile run. Push-ups and sit-ups, no problem. On Friday I got 55 and 70, respectively. I ran my 2-mile in 16:50. That's 14 seconds over for those of you who like math as much as me. I failed. The whole test is worth 300 points. The minimum score to pass is 180, with at least 60 points in each event. I scored 221. Yet, I failed. my run was a 57. At this point I had two options: Take it again next month (um...running in November...NO!), or take it the next day. I decided it would look better for me to at least try taking it the next day. So Saturday morning I knocked out my minimum 40 and 50. I managed to pass my run with a 16:34. Yep, I made it by 2 measly seconds. (Here's the fun part) I have shoulder issues. Too complicated to go in to detail, but it sufficeth me to say my left shoulder sucks. As I came up on my 34th push-up, I heard/felt something in my shoulder go awry. It's been hurting worse than ever for the last 2 days. I can't reach over my head. I can't lie down on either side for very long. It hurts to breathe.

Walrus.v.2ox6: NLUGTFHBAIMITWSADN (Not letting us go the freak home because apparently it's more important that we sit around doing nothing)


This basically comes down to PPP: Piss-Poor Planning. Now, at drill we have to train on common soldier tasks. They're redundant and boring, but they're something to do. This weekend someone apparently decided that all the sergeants needed training on some stuff. That left all of us low-ranking fellas to sit around. On our thumbs if we got too bored. Personally, I don't know what could have been done to make everything run smoother. That's not my job. I do, however, know that everything could have been much easier. Especially the part about us not being able to go home til the Blackfoot guys (who were in Preston with us...yeah makes sense) got back to their armory. Ok. Their bus was supposed to pick them up at noon. Someone with too much brass decided it was a good idea for them to only use one buss for the whole battalion. All the units had to share ONE bus to get them home. So they finally left a little after 1. Now, with all our training completed, and the whole armory cleaned, we had to wait another hour-and-a-half for them to get home before we could leave. WTF?!?

I'm annoyed. My shoulder hurts. And I'm supposed to decide whether I want to re-enlist...HA!

That is all.