Frosting cancels out calories...

I'm trying to be a little more health conscious than I have been in the past, because being healthy is important. Right now, it's as simple as counting calories. So while we were at the store today, I looked at how many calories were in one blueberry poptart, sans frosting. 210Wow, I think. That's kind of a lot. Then out of curiousity I checked the frosted variety, assuming there would be an extra 30-50. Total calories in one frosted blueberry poptart: 200.

I'll repeat that, because it bears repeating...

One unfrosted blueberry poptart: 210 calories.
One frosted blueberry poptart: 200 calories.

I double- and triple-checked to make sure my sleep deprivation wasn't playing tricks on me. I made sure they were both the same brand. Yep, Kellogg's.

SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME HOW A FROSTED VARIETY OF ANY PRODUCT CAN HAVE TEN LESS CALORIES THAN ITS UNFROSTED COUNTERPART!!!

That's effing stupid. I no longer have ANY faith in the FDA and think counting calories is stupid because they apparently just MAKE THE DAMN NUMBERS UP!

That is all.

Letters...

Dear Swine Flu,

You've had your fun. Now it's time to go. You tried your best to thin our population. You really did. Unfortunately, you were hyped more than was necessary and although you ARE finished, people are still worried about you. Shame on you. Hang up your cape and cowl. Let the residual fear die.

I write this because I just got sent home from work. Because I'm sick.

Let me clarify. Because I have a sore throat and congested headache. And my boss (not so much his fault - company policy) had me call someone in on their day off. (sorry Brandon).

I'll repeat: I have a sore throat and a headache due to sinus congestion. I've gone to work (and worked my entire shift) while a stone's throw from death. And I'm not talking about talking about a stone thrown by an Olympic shot-put champion. I'm talking about one tossed carelessly by Yours Truly.

So please, Swine flu, just go away. Let us get ready for the next faux-pocalypse.

That is all.

Norte

***

Dear People Who Rant/Complain About MTV,

Shut up.

Yes, I don't like it either. But it's time to accept it.

You've denied it.

You've been angry about it. (and then complained about it)

You've thought you could change it, somehow. (by complaining about it, apparently)

You've been sad about it. (probably because no one listened to your whining)

But you haven't moved on from there. You seem to have regressed back to anger. And stayed there. For ten years.

Let them do what they want. Don't watch.

But please shut up.

That is all.

Norte

***

Dear Members of Tokio Hotel,

What in Zeus' balls are you?

That is all.

Norte

***

Dear Smart/Clever/Not-Completely-Stupid People.

Keep on keepin' on.

That is all.

Norte

***

Dear Guy-Who-Likes-Twilight

I hereby confiscate your junk. Report to your nearest butcher for the procedure. Go read some Michael Crichton or something...

Or if you really need a good vampire fix, Anne Rice will leave you smiling and satisfied.

Ladies, you may continue to enjoy these books if you ABSOLUTELY MUST. But if you search your souls, you may find that you're already ready to move on.

That is all.

Norte

***

Ok. I'm done for now. If I've offended anyone, bite me.

That is all.

Called. It. !.

Remember a few blogs back when I mentioned Licensed Breeding?

Well, apparently, the Dutch Parliament reads my blog.

Check it out.

Please let this pass.

And spread. Like melted butter.

That is all.